Race Report: YMCA Monster Dash 5K

Let me get this out of the way by telling you that I am a VERY SLOW runner right now. Hell, I'm a slow runner normally, but given that I haven't been involved in any kind of structured run-training in over a year (thank you mr. knee), I feel required to preface this race report (of which I am VERY happy with) with the fact that these times will not shock, awe or inspire anyone. Ok, lets get to the good stuff!...

I signed up for a local YMCA Monster Dash 5K the evening before the race (pending the positive results on my calf soreness meter). It was $30, which was a refreshingly low price given how much a TRI or Marathon cost these days. The race start was also a happy 9:00am, although it was still 39 degrees!

UNFORTUNATELY, I had to wake up at 5am to drive Elaine to a work-thingy. Running low on sleep, and high on the "argghh i don't want to be up this early" grumpy meter, I decided to treat myself to McDonalds breakfast (wtf?!?!... i know!). Two sausage/egg/cheese McGriddle sandwiches later (plus a Sprite), I was feeling mildly satisfied, highly guilty and nervously paranoid about the home-commode being located 30 minutes away. Once safely at home, I decided to try and catch a nap for an hour before the race. Not being a napper, I ended up laying there the whole time half-awake with the beginnings of an irritated stomach combined with pre-race jitters.

Eventually it was time to get up and go, so that's what I did. The YMCA was very lively, which is great because it makes the atmosphere much more electric and enjoyable. I pinned the number on, did some stretching, drank some water and ran about 1/2 a mile to warm-up. Before I knew it, people had formed a starting-line and someone yelled "GO!"

Ok, lets do this!

THE RACE
The very beginning of the race was completely downhill. I never run hills so I was at a loss on whether I should just BOOK IT down the hill or pull up and try to keep within my goal pace(s). I opted for the former and BOOKED IT! Unfortunately, the HR was quite high at the bottom, and to boot, I had to immediately start running uphill. Crrrrrrrrrap. Wait, how are you supposed to run uphill?? I had no idea on that either, so... I booked it! :) There was no information posted about the course online leading up to the race so I had no idea how hilly it would be, or what to expect. As it turns out, it looked like this:

Frear Park in Troy, NY

When your elevation profile looks like a hill, that's a bad sign, right?

With half the race uphill and the other half downhill, how did I train? ALL FLAT LAND. Nice! I continued to employ my impromptu strategy of "bust it on the uphills/downhills" and rest on the flats. However, there weren't many flats to speak of and I guess you're not supposed to rest during a 5K anyway. For the first 50% of the race I was RIGHT behind this dude running in skateboarding shoes (ala Vans). GODDAMNIT, if you're going to beat me then at least wear running shoes! Vengeance was mine, however as I passed him at the end of the race's uphill portion. The sweet sound of him sucking air as I passed was the icing on the cake, retribution for over a mile of watching his loosely-laced van's slapping the pavement in front of me! Did I step on the gas pedal just a bit as I passed?... maybe :o).

Coming up on just under a mile to go, a man pushing one of those highly-engineered athletic strollers passes me. "Damnit, wow, that's awesome!," I say. He smiles and wishes me luck as he inches past me.

Wait, wtf?! Did I just let a dude pushing a stroller pass me?

I quickly weighed the mental consequences on what would be worse - losing to a man pushing a stroller (embarrassment) or racing a man pushing a stroller (shame?). Damnit, I'm NOT losing to man pushing a stroller, and with 400m to go I picked "shame" and turned on the after-burners.

I end up beating this man and his child in the all-out sprint by a measly 3 seconds!! Although there was a bit of shame for instigating this race, I'm very happy that his after-burners didn't end up beating me in the end. VERY happy.

I crossed the line with a finishing time of 23:31, which nets me a 7:42 min/mile pace. This was also good for 23rd overall and 4th in my age group.

POST RACE WRAP-UP
Coming into the race, I had established three goal-thresholds. I adopted this strategy after reading the book "Run Less, Run Faster," where I learned the importance of setting realistic goals, emphasis both on the goals realistically reflecting my recent training and that there are more than one of them. They were as follows:

(A) 24:48 - 8:00 min/mile average
(B) 24:02 - 7:45 min/mile average
(C) 23:15 - 7:30 min/mile average

As you detectives may have already noticed, not only did I beat the (A) goal, but I also just snuck in under the (B) goal as well!! Wohoo!!!

After cheering some people across the line, I wandered over inside the YMCA and enjoyed a donut, some apple slices, a purple/grape gatorade and my very first sports massage! As someone who doesn't normally enjoy  a massage, this was quite pleasant, particularly on the sore calves. Having a 20-something coed slather your legs with lotion ain't bad either! ;o)

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